1. Surgeons are sadists. Really--they make you get up before the crack of dawn, you have to starve and dehydrate yourself the night before your procedure, and they expect you to get completely naked for all surgeries. I had surgery on my ARM, so why do they need my butt exposed? Something is just fishy there....
2. Drugs are Niiiiiice.
3. The chlorohexidine stuff they use to "clean" your surgical site is secretly the same ingredient they use in spray on tan. If you select the color "Just Jaundice" you will get the same lovely effect.
4. Did I mention drugs were oh so yummy?
5. It's always a comfort when the surgeon has to sign his initials on the hand they are operating on....nice to know he isn't the forgetful sort.
6. Some people really DO wake up in the middle of their surgery and feel what's going on. Thank goodness for the lovely CRNA who knocked me out again...after I had a whole conversation with her where I offered to buy her house. It's important to make good fiscal decisions while you are under anesthesia.
7. The hospital isn't blowing their budget on surgical gowns...I was given a blue piece of tissue to wear into the OR. And a really attractive matching shower cap. Fashionable.
8. Ummmmm.....more drugs....
9. Being dressed like a baby by a nurse is SLIGHTLY less humiliating when said nurse has a prim British accent (and you happen to be an anglophile).
10. The use of both hands is highly overrated. Who needs to button their pants or brush their hair?
11. I read in InStyle magazine that the mummy look was in this winter--so my finger to elbow cast will be styling.
12. Oooops...too many drugs make you barf. ALOT.
4 comments:
Hope you get some rest this weekend! But who am I kidding? Any weekend with two kids around will not equal rest!
I hope at least you husband has the weekend off.
dude i am so out of it...what kind of surgery did you have??
Well, you may have temporarily lost the use of your right hand...but you haven't lost your sense of humor. YEAH!!!
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