Friday, January 16, 2009

Careers I Don't Envy

I have been having work angst this week and in an attempt (lame) to cheer myself up I was thinking about jobs I am grateful I DON'T have. So here are a few...
-Meteorologist. Everyone knows how much I like to be right, so predicting the weather would suck. Plus, having to work on snow days? No way.
-Brazilian waxer. Do I really have to explain why I am glad this is not my profession? But for a pretty damn humorous description of one ladies experience getting waxed, visit this website: http://www.salon.com/health/feature/1999/09/03/bikini/
-Flight attendant. Since I loathe flying (and frequently dream of dying in plane accidents) this job would be impossible for me. And even if I could overcome my intense fear of being jostled around 20,000 feet in the air, I couldn't get past the fact that I would have to serve beverages to winos, wear that cheesey outfit, and deal with couples trying to join the mile high club in the bathroom. Yick.
-Deep Sea Fisherman. I saw the movie (George Clooney's "The Perfect Storm") and EVERYONE died. And while I get a kick out of the show "Deadliest Catch" I think endless days of playing Ahab would get me down. Just DON'T call me Ishmael.
-Professional Wrestler. The cool tag names and notoriety might be fun, I couldn't handle the intense diet (gobbling egg whites not my thing) or seeing gargantuan man-pecks where my breasts should be. That is just wrong on so many levels. Women were not meant to have muscles that bulge. We'll leave that to Ty Diggs.
-Dog walker. The exercise would be great, but I already have enough shit to deal with in my life. Pun intended.
Feel free to share any other careers I should avoid at all costs.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

zoo worker - see dog walker and add other peoples kids.

Daycare worker - see zoo worker

Christy said...

Oooohh--you are right. I would hate that too. Plus all the screaming animals and the smell of the maned wolves. They are pretty and all, but they REEK. Good call.

K said...

Those are good ones! After hitting Gymboree during gymbucks time with our Christmas gift card I can't say I would ever WANT to work there. Other people's kids and their obsessed deal-crazed mothers with arm loads of clothes/strollers/attitudes/cell phones and TONS of questions. But Disco and I peeled big sis away without tears and we found cute clothes for little man's next fall/winter wardrobe.