My version of hell

Any visit to a doctors office with small children is my version of hell. Do you feel me here? Every time I have to take my kids for any kind of appointment I just dread it to the point that I don't sleep much the night before. And this week we had a real suck-fest of an appointment: Alex was having his vision tested. I dreaded it on many levels, but my biggest concern was that Alex was going to hate it. Crying would ensue--his and mine. I really LOATHE those appointments.

This visit was at Children's Hospital, and since we practically own stock in ACH now (due to all Alex's expensive medical bills) I am pretty familiar with the hospital layout. Unfortunately, I didn't realize my son had gained about sixty pounds in the last few days, because lugging him in was an aerobic workout (and I don't DO aerobic workouts. EVER). I was literally out of breath by the time I hit the doors of the Eye Clinic. I think the intake nurse thought I was a pack a day smoker because she gave me the eye.
ACH does all there check in through automated computer systems. Which is nice because it eliminates the need for all that pleasant chit-chat, but sucks when you forget and go bug the intake nurse (whose title probably isn't intake nurse now that I think of it). She now thinks I smoke AND I'm mental since there are only about six hundred signs reminding you to check in digitally.
Then the waiting begins. Our appointment was for 8:30 and I didn't take it as a good sign that the electronic boards showed folks still waiting for their 7 o'clock appointments to begin...I am not a patient person. I think that gene just skipped me altogether, so about five minutes into the wait I was getting pissed. And it didn't help that it was hot, I was tired, out of breath, and every parent in there seemed to be in Sound -of-Music mode (basically everyone was chipper and HAPPY that they were sitting around waiting). I just wanted to slap them all. And that made me feel even worse. Am I a crappy mom for not putting on my Betty-Crocker Sunshine face for my child during a doctors appointment?? (please don't answer that question...I already know it's a "hell yes")
My irritation grew as folks who checked in fifteen and twenty minutes after us were called back. I was tapping my foot and grinding my teeth (the lady next to me was actually singing "I'm a little teapot" to her precious "Emmy girl") when they FINALLY called us back.
Only to discover that we went from the big waiting room to a slightly smaller, equally packed step down room. Here, I realized this visit was going to rival the levels of Hell in Dante's Inferno. We were slowly moving from one level to another...
I kid you not--we actually went to FIVE different rooms for this visit. The nurse had to give Alex drops to dilate his eyes, and that was where the crying began. Thankfully, it only lasted moments and then he promptly feel back into blissful sleep. I was insanely jealous.
When we eventually got to see an actual human with an MD attached to his name, it was for TEN seconds. He flashed a light in my sons eyes, made a Donald Duck quacking noise to get his attention and pronounced "I don't see any vision problems." You are kidding me, right? Two hours of my life were sucked from me for THAT???
On the positive side, my child has no visual issues, which is a relief. I don't think I could have watched him have a cranial helmet AND two inch wide glasses.
On the negative side, I now have a healthy aversion to anyone wearing a white coat (which is bad since I am married to said demon) and we still don't know why our child is so delayed, which is frustrating.
But not nearly as frustrating as the check-out nurse saying oh-so-cheerfully "See you in one year."
THE HELL YOU WILL.